Days off sick - 2 
Attempted days off sick - 5
Snow days - 1
Snowmen made - 0
Snow angels made - 1
Severe talkings-to about behaviour by parents - 1
Detentions - 0
B2s (formal warnings) - 0
Times coat “lost” - 1
Ties lost - 0
Bleep tests won - 1
Parents’ evenings attended - 1
Reports received - 1
Improved grades - 12 Teachers seen - 11
Teachers who says Ben should stop talking in class - 10
Teachers who said Ben should “shut his gob”’- 1
Holes punched in headboard - 1
Hours played on Xbox - unquantifiable
Quotes from The Lady of Shalott which stunned teacher - 1
Happy mothers - 1 (extremely)
Winter term in figures, in case you missed it:
Lost ties - 2
Found ties - 1
New ties bought out of his own money - 1
Reminders from mum to hang blazer up - 70
Detentions - 2 too many
Phone calls from tutor (good) - 1
Phone calls from tutor (bad) - 1
Trousers ripped at knees - 0
Shoes ruined - 0 (hurrah!)
Morning arguments - 10 (not bad)
School trips forgotten about - 1
Late payments for equipment - 1
New friends made - 4
Representing school in sporting teams (existing sports) - 2
Representing school in sporting teams (new sports) - 1 (there is life outside football)
Money spent on lunch - £1,000 (feels like)
Times two iced buns eaten (admitted) - 1
Times two iced buns eaten (not admitted) - who knows
School residentials attended - 1
Arguments about riding to school with no helmet - 3,256
Exhausted boys - 1
Happy mums - 0.5